F My Life  I
by eclipse-of-my-soul
Summary: FML: "Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor." CxS


From the site fmylife.

Pairing: Cloud x Sephiroth

FML: "Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor."

-o-o-

Cloud Strife was a rather pretty male, being of slender limbs and pale skin. He was a mountain boy, born and bred. He spoke with a slight accent that Zack had mostly trained out of him (it made him stand out too much) and he blushed easily.

These days, as he was nearing the SOLDIER exams, more and more men took notice of him and subsequently pursued him. He was okay with this, he'd known for a while where his interests lie. It was what they did that made him uncomfortable. They would take him to fancy restaurants and give him expensive presents and he really wasn't sure how to deal with it.

After all, there were no fancy Wutaiian restaurants in Nibelheim. There, people would declare their intent and they would just try to prove how much they cared. Here, people seemed to rely on how much junk (and yes, most of it _was_ junk) you could give.

Zack Fair was the only one Cloud could confide in about the strangeness of coming to a new city. He listened sympathetically and Cloud counted on him to not develop any strange feelings. Because really, he already had that pretty slums girl and a hot mentor watching over him, what else did he need?

Zack was also a great friend that wanted his blonde buddy to have a (serious) relationship, so he took it upon himself to find the perfect person. And so, he discreetly began screening everyone he knew to be set up with his friend.

-o-o-

"Hey," Zack greeted, casually walking up to the trio of SOLDIER operatives that would have scared off many others. Genesis glanced up from his book and ticked a finger at him in greeting before returning to the book.

"'Morning, Zack," Angeal greeted as Sephiroth just quietly observed him.

Zack smiled and clapped, getting a wondrously deviant thought. "Genesis, Angeal, may I have your attention?"

Genesis peeked at him from over his book, eyebrow cocked in amused wondering. Sephiroth looked a little put out at being excluded from the list.

"I have a friend," he began.

"More than one, I should hope," Angeal joked.

"You should hope. Anyway, he's a Cadet for now but he's taking the upcoming exams. He's totally gonna rock it out, so ignore that detail for now. So, lots of guys like him, right? Well he doesn't like those guys, so I have to help him out.

"He's a totally sweet kid, from the mountains so he's pretty old-fashioned but not in typical Midgar-style, right? Well I'm gonna find him a guy like that and you two are going to help me subdue him."

The trio was silent as they thought it over. Sephiroth still wondered why he was excluded. He was _very _experienced in capture and containment, after all.

Then Genesis got in. He closed his book and a slow smirk began to spread across his face. He placed his book out of harms way and pushed up his red leather sleeves.

Angeal understood next and he sighed in defeat. He similarly prepared himself for a fight.

Zack beamed in triumph and dictated, "Cloud should be picked up at 8 o'clock, got it? It's up to him to make the plans, okay?"

They both nodded so Zack, still beaming, scampered off. He laughed to himself when he heard a rather confused Sephiroth begin questioning his friends.

He strolled through the halls until he got to the barracks and peaked in. The Cadets closest to the door jumped to salute the First Class SOLDIER, who waved casually.

"Hey guys, have you seen Cloud?" he asked, stepping in and shutting the door behind him. They thought and conferred amongst themselves before coming to a consensus.

"He's in the rec. room," a brunette, Sadler maybe?, offered.

"Thanks, see ya!" Zack called, jogging off through the lines of beds. He mostly ignored the hurried salutes he received and he entered the small room with a bounce in his step.

Sure enough, Cloud was there. But so was an instructor. Cloud was on the floor, doing push ups.

Zack's grin fell and he looked rather dejected. He drug his feet as he approached and the instructor looked at him with an almost amused look.

"Lieutenant Fair," he greeted. Cloud faltered in his rhythm, wanting to look up but not at the same time.

"Hey Michaels," he morosely greeted. "What's the little punk done now?"

"Nothing serious," he said lightly. "He was involved in a conflict with another Cadet. The other Cadet's doing laps."

"You are aware it's raining, right?" Zack asked, trying to keep the amusement out of his tone and off his face.

"I've been made privy to this fact, yes. Strife, what number are you at?"

"Uh, one-fifty?"

"Try again."

"Seventy-nine," the Cadet grumbled. His goal was 150 push ups. He supposed his punishment was better than the other Cadet's. Seriously, with all that pollution the rain got to be pretty acidic.

"Good going, Cloudy," Zack said warmly. "When you're done, shower and meet me at my rooms, okay?"

"Sure," Cloud panted.

Zack was about to look when he caught the roll of the instructors eyes. He got it immediately.

"Michaels, uh we aren't, ya know, like that," Zack defended. "I'm setting him up on a date."

Cloud collapsed to the floor and groaned. Michaels suppressed a grin.

"Not again, Zack. Never, ever, ever again."

"Okay, I admit the last two-"

"There were three. Three attempts, you're done!"

"Two and a half," Zack said calculatingly. Cloud looked up in disbelief as he reclaimed his structure and began working again.

"How is a half even possible?"

"Fine, two and three quarters. Anyway, one more try. You'll love this guy, I swear."

"Fine, fine," Michaels answered for the blonde. "I'll drag him there myself if you want, just stop distracting him. Believe it or not, but I'm one of the few who _don't_ get pleasure from watching young men work for me. I've got a wife and a daughter, I'd rather leave early today."

"Okay! Make sure he gets there!" Zack called, jogging out the room to be saluted at a bunch more times.

-o-o-

It was roughly 6 o'clock when Cloud showed up at Zack's door. He was let in quickly and ushered to the couch, being offered half a dozen things that he knew for a fact that Zack didn't actually have.

"So who is it now?" Cloud asked in resignation when Zack had finally settled himself in a seat.

"Don't freak, alright?" Zack confirmed and Cloud nodded. "It's Sephiroth."

Cloud was silent, arching one brow quizzically as he waited for Zack to explain. When no explanations was forth-coming, he arched the other brow in a disbelieving look.

"Seriously, I got Genesis and Angeal to double team him into coming. Usually he won't unless he's forced. Ya know, believing he's a solitary creature and all that. Weird."

"Zack," Cloud said in an odd tone. "I can't date _Sephiroth._"

"Why not?" Zack asked. "He's nice enough if you can deal with the weird."

"Okay, let's pretend that there aren't a million problems with that. Why today for a date? The acidity forecast is over thirty percent."

"Oh suck it up, there are umbrellas that'll last to a car, I'm sure. And it'll only hurt a little bit. Carry a potion with you, would you? I worry."

"Then call it off! He doesn't even know me."

"No one ever knows eachother until they meet," Zack brightened. "Cloud, you'll love him, I swear."

Cloud gave him one long look before asking, "This is your last attempt, right?"

Zack shrieked with joy.

-o-o-

"Stop this," Sephiroth commanded, struggling to liberate his arm from his attackers. They just scoffed and continued to force him into the dressiest clothes he owned. When finished, they stepped back wearing identical smirks.

"You look perfect," Genesis declared, spinning a grumpy Sephiroth around once quickly. Angeal nodded in agreement before commenting, "I already made you two a reservation, so get going. I already messaged Zack with the time and place."

Sephiroth didn't both trying to fight it so he was led complacently from the room into the hall to be ushered to a waiting car on the first floor.

He was unceremoniously shoved in the dark car with tinted windows and was waved at as the car slowly rolled away. He sighed and leaned back. It would only be one night, right? He'd let the cadet down easy after the meal.

The ride was short – at most ten minutes – and he met a frowning Zack at the door. He wasn't even given a moment to wonder what irked the teen before he was being hustled in.

"This isn't really his style, you know," Zack muttered. "I thought I'd mentioned."

"If you did, I'm not sure Angeal caught it. He booked the table for us," Sephiroth explained, letting himself be pushed to a back room. Thank goodness Angeal at least had enough insight to get a private table.

"I'll yell at him later," Zack rattled off impatiently and spun the man to face him. He eyed the SOLDIER before straightening his tie and walking away. "Have a nice date!"

Left with no other option (as he was sure Zack would lurk), Sephiroth sighed and stepped in the door. He felt lighter than usual because the comfortable weight of a weapon and battle armor was stripped of him, making him distinctly _un_comfortable.

He saw, when he entered, a small room with dim lighting. The table was set for two and his date was already there, sipping at his water. When the blonde's eyes flashed to his, he watched them widen in surprise.

"Oh god," he groaned. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Zack's such an idiot…"

"It's quite alright, cadet," Sephiroth assured him. The boy looked good, Sephiroth had to admit. He wasn't unsightly beautiful or handsome but a mix of it all. Thoroughly unremarkable in an almost remarkable way.

Sephiroth smiled as he stepped forward to take his seat. The cadet didn't seem so bad, just a little weary. He was quiet as he picked up the menu and scanned it, noting the barely family language.

"Do you read this language?" Sephiroth enquired curiously, looking up to the blue eyes he felt watching him. The blue eyes didn't avert, but continued observing him.

"No," Cloud answered after a pause. "Do you?"

"I read it adequately, years ago."

"You really didn't need to bring me here for the date," Cloud frowned. Sephiroth copied the action.

"I didn't," he said. "Just as you had your friend Zack to push you here, I had Angeal and Genesis."

"Ah," Cloud hummed, looking a little less unhappy.

They were interrupted as the server walked in, a slight sway in her gait. Sephiroth didn't even have to look to know she was probably doing her damnedest to seduce them.

"Are you two ready to order?" she asked with a slightly breathless voice. Honestly, did that tone arouse _anybody_? Sephiroth thought viciously.

"A moment," Sephiroth requested. "Will you advise us on what's best?"

"Oh yeah, sure," she smiled and leaned over him and Sephiroth realized that her shirt was opened as far as it could be without being considered public indecency. She rattled off some choices and Sephiroth glanced at Cloud to see what he wanted. Cloud just raised an eyebrow and Sephiroth ordered for them both. Other than requesting a wine, Cloud was largely silent through the transaction.

As the server sauntered out, obviously trying to catch their attention, Sephiroth turned his full attention to Cloud.

"I'm Sephiroth," he introduced.

Cloud snorted. "Yeah, I guessed. I'm Cloud Strife."

"An odd name," Sephiroth commented, sipping his own water. "Where are you from, Cloud?"

"Ah… Mt. Nibel."

"I see, it's quite rural out there, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yeah. Only town for miles is Nibelheim," Cloud confirmed.

"What sort of fauna is there in a place like that?"

"Well, we have wolves and dragons naturally," Cloud thought aloud. "The higher you climb, the more you see monsters like Dorky Faces and Bombs."

"Dragons? I've never actually been to a frigid mountain, so I've never seen one," Sephiroth mentioned. That brought a smile out of the blonde.

"They're pretty big and hard to kill since the mako is so thick in the air up there. Probably not a challenge for you, but anyone else would have a time of it trying to beat one."

"So the mako affects them?"

And the conversation continued easily, just chatter about light topics, until the food was brought out and placed before them. Once the server left again, the two addressed their food accordingly.

"That doesn't look edible," Cloud said bluntly. Sephiroth privately agreed but put on a brave front for his date.

"It must be, this is a rather esteemed establishment," he reasoned. Taking a fork, he speared some of what appeared to be a salad. Cloud watched as he raised it to his mouth and bit into it, chewing thoughtfully.

After a moment the chewing stopped and Cloud watched intently as Sephiroth unfolded the napkin and discretely spit the food out into it. A grin widened on his face at that.

"Cloud, I quite enjoy your company, but this location leaves much to be desired," Sephiroth declared.

"I concur," Cloud grinned crookedly.

"So let's skip the pretenses and get some horribly unhealthy food, all right?" Sephiroth asked, not smiling a little himself.

"No arguments here!"

-o-o-

Sephiroth left the payment on the table and the two slipped out the back door, though the kitchen. They darted though the shadows and laughed at their own foolishness. After a while, Sephiroth even held the boy's hand, getting an almost smirk from him in return.

Eventually they made their way to a small convenience store. Sephiroth sent Cloud in with a handful of Gil to buy him a hooded sweatshirt so he may not be recognized when they found a good diner to stop in for dinner.

Moment later Cloud appeared, hands full of dark blue fabric. Sephiroth took the cloth wordlessly and slipped it on and flipped the hood up.

They took off immediately after that. Before they came across a diner, the found a small park. One of the few projects Reeve Tuesti managed.

Cloud turned to Sephiroth with a begging look, "Come on, it's not that late, I really wanna go for a walk."

With a roll of his eyes, Sephiroth walked into the darkened park, Cloud smiling as he followed.

They strolled along for a while, finding the entire place deserted. Not too long after they started they found a bench and Sephiroth suggested they take a break.

"That's fine," Cloud nodded. "I forgot you're so much older than me."

Sephiroth frowned down on him and he just beamed up with a cheeky smile.

"Are you even old enough to drink? I shouldn't have given you alcohol," Sephiroth grouched.

"Oh relax, Nibelheim has a lot stronger stuff. What kind of person would I be if I didn't get into some of it?"

"A respectable one."

"Fine, I'm sorry for calling you old," Cloud apologized.

"Thank you."

They both looked at eachother and smiled.

"You know, I had fun," Cloud said. "A lot more than all the other times Zack's tried to set me up. I told him this was the last time, so I guess he wanted to make it memorable."

"I guess I haven't been dating enough for them," Sephiroth mused. "Oh well. As it is, I'm glad it happened."

"Me too."

Neither was quiet sure who leaned in first, they only know that eventually they both were pressing their mouths together in a sweet kiss. Sephiroth immediately took control, which was fine with Cloud until Cloud leaned in.

The next thing they were aware off was the alarming sensation of free falling followed by a harsh landing. Cloud was mostly unharmed, just a scratch on his arm from the bench rushing past him.

Sephiroth, however, slammed his head on the concrete beneath them. Quite hard, he might add.

When Sephiroth opened his eyes, Cloud was staring down at him in horror and Sephiroth thought it was cute how Cloud was so worried.

They both just stared at eachother and eventually the smiles eased back on their faces and they both started laughing.

Sephiroth sat up, holding Cloud in place and kissed him again, slow and unhurried.

When he pulled away he was smiling.

"We've got to do this again."

-o-o-

**Please review! Put some FMLs in your comments and I may just do one based on your prompt!**


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